bleedingblackrose666

The only reason I'm still alive and trying People I love Family and friends If it weren't for you I'd be long gone I can't hold on without you Days and months pass Where I feel it would be better off without me But I know putting you through the pain Would be worse than dealing with the heartache That I strive through daily I want to end my own suffering But putting you through that trial would be worse I struggle daily Waking to unknown misery Yet pacing through all too familiar fields Desperate despair is an old time friend of mine And I walk hand in hand with him Just to keep his attention averted For if he were to lose his grip on mine He

the beast has finally withered become complacent and confined the cage has shrunken in size making it near immobile it has finally become complacent allowing passersby to poke and prod it without risk of injure fear is all but not to those who see it all that is seen now is a sniveling cowardice of disgust and filth a pity to behold upon the onlookers the beast has lost the will to live and be wild has all but diminished the spark of power has fizzled from its eyes the rage of life has become nothing but a remnant steam the smoldering pile of self no ember to be found

My mind is at a loss for words, yet it's running rampant with vivid imagery, walking down the trails behind my apartments, surrounded by trees, feeling free, yet contained and concealed, from the canopy above, thinking how it reminds me of my mind, always moving about, but trapped within itself, I want to break the barriers I have set, but I am also comforted by the security they bring.... not far from where I lay my head at night, yet feeling lost amidst it all, confused as to wether I should stay here and enjoy this moment for a while longer, or eternity, or withdraw back to my now known comfort of solitude and self-loathing, wishing I coul

Every night it seems I have to avert myself From the direction I am going Heading back to the bed we used to share Knowing I am no longer welcome I miss crawling in Next to you The thoughts are still fresh Now feeling like an open wound While swimming in a vat of salt My mind still races To what used to be Curling up in your arms Most nights could seem so sweet I hate how my mind races Running and jumping through hoops Wishing I could have Wishing there was just one more night With you The one I love And will always love Wanting to be back To that special place That is now only in my head Where I used to be safe What I finally called Home

I am once again brought to pain I have endured before from another hopefully soon no more the torment that I had hid from has come to the surface and took an even harder toll I disconnected I isolated I contemplated and to this day still seek something something to take away the turmoil my old vices... have been vacant my old clutches... have gone missing I become numb and dissociate from those around me whom I hold dear You took more from me than I had to give I broke down to nothing and am beginning to build again still searching through the rubble and the mess that has been strewn about I am still cleaning the broken pieces the shattered s

with my thoughts I have killed myself a thousand times and you many a number more succumbing to the sweetest of our primal nature rooting back to our true instinct for survival combined with our animalistic pleasure sly and cunning like a fox traits that course through my veins restricted yet pumping inside of this blackened heart this wolf in sheeps wool that needs to be disrobed with elegance and grace when the appropriate time has been met dancing under the light of the moon glistening finally in the crimson of your regrets howling in ecstasy of great pride and joy basking in my greatest achievement I know myself despite wandering astray a

Licking the blade People with horses for a head Sharp teeth glistening at night Filed like this Just for a quick bite The Mad Hatter is dancing around And Chucky the doll is in town Pigeons in turtlenecks Sipping on some wine The Green Fairy has entered my mind A women with no face Stands up against the wall The clouds break open showering us in red Grey-tone rainbows These are the flashes in my head

Pain Discomfort Tightening in my chest Feeling caught in a vice But in total bliss Floating in the clouds Within the surrounding melody Playing in the fields with my mind Running free and careless Like a kid again Playing Cowboys and Indians With my friends Dressing up like Peter Pan Flying to our own Neverland Laughing and smiling all the while I will never grow up For I am always a child

vacant mind vacant eyes this has now become my vacant life what once flourished has now diminished the creativity that flowed free has withered to almost non-existance tending the garden used to be a joy now it seems tedious the things that used to make me ponder and wonder of the unseen has now been clouded over by the utterly mundane flowing free like a brook now is just a swamp of muck hard to keep the faintest idea afloat sinking into the abyss of nothingness vacant mind vacant eyes i no longer want this vacant life i shall tend my garden with glee allow it to prosper once again let it grow wild and free let the vines open up my sky allow